Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize