Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
