last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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