yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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