When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize