That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
