it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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