The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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