Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you would pick up someone in the library
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
