votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
