somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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