i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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