my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
