8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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