walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
