I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
FUCK WHALES
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