Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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