I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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