I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
