belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
