Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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