I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
