Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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