He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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