what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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