I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
