dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize