i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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