I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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