I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize