My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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