Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
