I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I understand Curling. That high.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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