woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize
