I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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