You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
