Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
