Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
