i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize