after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
