I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You pole danced in your parka.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
