The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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