I don't think brook has ever known best
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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