Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
