We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
