i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish you could order shots online.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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