I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
