The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
