he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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