I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
cat food counts as protein by the way
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize