he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
