I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
