its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
