And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
