Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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