Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
