Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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