Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Bring me that man meat
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
