glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
