i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
