We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize