Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
