the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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