i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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