Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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