I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm experimenting with sincerity