Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just snuked. Sneezed and puked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I just snuked. Sneezed and puked http://tfl.nu/izkl
  Replies (16) Good night (1161) Bad night (6397)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance http://tfl.nu/8uw4
  Replies (38) Good night (1957) Bad night (9904)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them http://tfl.nu/300a
  Replies (25) Good night (4669) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden http://tfl.nu/1f55
  Replies (10) Good night (3820) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out http://tfl.nu/ac78
  Replies (7) Good night (3654) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it. http://tfl.nu/6bjl
  Replies (6) Good night (2208) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet" http://tfl.nu/9891
  Replies (2) Good night (3585) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not. http://tfl.nu/wyas
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire. http://tfl.nu/8ui6
  Replies (10) Good night (2155) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed. http://tfl.nu/q7k6
  Replies (9) Good night (1379) Bad night (1718)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again. http://tfl.nu/3u7r
  Replies (4) Good night (1845) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like. http://tfl.nu/bbeg
  Replies (12) Good night (828) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it. http://tfl.nu/bcke
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from? (702): Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way http://tfl.nu/vsyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1608) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect. http://tfl.nu/vkgr
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (282)

Randomize