We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...