I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.