She's JV to your varsity
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game